Date of Award
4-25-2018
Document Type
Capstone
Department
Creative Writing
First Advisor
Mark Christensen
Second Advisor
Season Ellison
Third Advisor
Carol Ann Russell
Abstract
Capstone submitted as a graduate requirement for the BSU Honors Program.
This thesis features three non-fiction stories that take place mainly during my junior and senior years of college. In Life on 119th Street, I reflect back on the years growing up in my childhood home and my parents’ abusive relationship. Despite this, I also bring to light the positive relationship I had with my parents and the happy childhood they gave me and my sister. I talk about the dogs we had, particularly a Great Dane Duke who was given away, as well as the tense few years before the divorce. For example, I describe in detail a stressful fight I remember witnessing at my house when I was sixteen. A focus is spent on the last summer at my home (following my sophomore year of college in 2016) before it foreclosed for good in May of 2017. I relate this to the difficulties I face now with letting the house go, such as a scene at the end of the piece where I say goodbye to the house and to my dog Duke, not knowing that it would be my last time seeing him. The undertones of this piece are about divorce, loss, letting go, and the family changes I undergo in the matter of a year. At the heart of it is me struggling to make peace with everything I lost, as well as the happy and dark memories of living at the house.
The second piece, Starlight, takes on a different tone as I reflect back on my first relationship with a woman. Though it was short-lived and not meant to be for a variety of reasons, I struggled with the heartbreak for a while following the breakup in February 2017. Though I moved on long ago and do not think much about her anymore, I wanted to write about the times we shared and the things she taught me. I narrow in on scenes of adventures we took with her friends and meaningful moments on dates. At the end, I touch on the dissolution of the relationship and why things ended up the way they did. Even so, I note that things eventually got 4 better and I was able to grow from the experience, build a new relationship, and still occasionally look back with a smile.
Golden Days sort of picks up where Starlight left off: where I was grappling with heartache but found happiness in spending time with Lindsey, my girlfriend now. Back then we were best friends and I did not know she had feelings for me. When she finally came out to me was when things changed for us. I focused on the beginning memories we had together, such as cuddling for the first time and listening to music. We grew closer but things grew complicated, too. What I don’t directly mention in the piece but only touch on, was that her parents were against LGBT relationships and raised Lindsey to believe they were immoral. Of course, her viewpoints changed when she realized she loved me. Her parents were horrified when they found out, but are a bit more open to us being together than they were before. Still, it’s been a rocky road.
All relationships are hard at times, but LGBT ones in particular can be made especially difficult due to other factors straight couples do not have to deal with or even consider. I am proud of my identity as LGBT, but I do not want it to be the most defining characteristic about me. Yes, we are the same gender, but besides that we are no more different than straight couples. At the end of the day, it does not matter whose arms you occupy. If it’s a healthy, happy relationship, that’s all that’s important. Through it all, it’s the same love.
Recommended Citation
Blanski, Allexus, "Impossible Year" (2018). Honors Capstones. 2.
https://pines.bemidjistate.edu/honors-cap/2
